Friends

 Did you ever notice that when you are with people you love, you usually laugh a lot. I am in two quilter's groups and when we get together, we have a good time. Some of us are quietly working on projects by hand or machine, but we all have good stories to tell. One will start and then another joins in with another funny story and suddenly we have spent a half hour laughing. 

I think it's the same with family. Just being in the same room as my kids, their spouses and grandkids causes instant elation. And they all have dogs. I miss my dog Messy, who died last month, but I am still grieving for a while. It's great to get jumped on and licked (ooh, ick) and adored by them. Of course, I always have a little treat for them.

It's still November and heaven knows what December will bring, let alone a new/old presidency. I am reading uplifting books and pages, talking to friends, and sewing, writing, walking, cooking. I always balance my life with the gratitude that at least I am not in a nursing home YET. Still, I bet I can find the troublemakers in a nursing home and have some fun when I do go.

The Holidays

 The holidays are so much fun for small children. Starting with Halloween, kids are so excited at the approach of the holiday. I had the pleasure of a delightful afternoon with two of my grandchildren in Whitefish Bay, Wisconsin this year. The weather was warm enough for the two princesses to go bare-armed and the town really got into the spirit of the day. My daughter and her husband wore costumes and I wore a ruana I had gotten in Bogota, Colombia in 1972. For each block we walked, the girls got to eat one piece of candy. They were pretty wiped out by the time we got home. In case you haven't read my favorite Halloween story, go to this post.

This year I was having a hissy fit because I didn't think I would have family home for the holidays. I managed to invite them, rather than just assume, and they invited me. I'm ancillary to their families now, and I think that's supposed to be a good outcome to having children, but how I miss having them all together at once. 

This weekend my daughter and family stayed overnight. Within five minutes of my granddaughters' arrival, they had changed me into a princess. Now that they are both preschoolers, I can almost keep up with them. I will cherish these moments of joy, just as I cherish the moments with my children and my downstate grandchildren. I have been writing again, and that's one of the good things about not having to clean, cook and decorate. Let's hope I get my first book of poetry done this year!

Losses are not fun

 One of the ways I have fun is to quilt. I also love to read, write, and search for genealogy nuggets. All of which are solitary activities. Being human, however, I need to be around people some of the time. 

I recently read a book called The Introvert Advantage. I realized I am an introvert, which explains why I find it stressful to be around large groups of people. In graduate school, I would gravitate to the kitchen during parties, while my first ex-husband was putting a lampshade on his head. Now that I realize I need alone time, I quit beating myself up for not being more social. 

I have been single now for thirty years, living alone since the youngest moved out in 2007. I have learned to accept that there will be tough days, but I am happy for the most part. My favorite people live mostly nearby and I can see most of them any time. 

There have been losses this year, which are not fun. One of my dearest friends died last summer and I still miss her most days. The Center for Gifted has closed permanently, done in by COVID. It was one of a kind, run by brilliant people who loved gifted kids and each other. The kids loved the classes. I often wondered if I should tell them I would teach there for free. It's gone, and I helped empty the storage unit. It leaves a big hole.

I don't look forward to old age. I remember when my mom lost her last best friend. She was glad she could go quickly (a stroke), not bitter about her loneliness. 

I try to enjoy each day, because I am so lucky to still be alive. There are many times in my life I could have died but didn't, thanks to modern medicine and psychology. 

Last weekend I had great fun walking two miles with my son and his dog. You can't buy that. 

I cleaned up more of my quilting mess this morning and look forward to cleaning my house. That's not fun, but it cheers me up. 

Last week I heard a report on BBC that music releases endorphins. That must be why I love to sing so much and I do sing three times or more during the week. I also love hearing the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, which I heard last Friday. Yes, I have fun every week, even when I am processing losses.

Dictionary and Thesaurus Work

Fun:

Definition: action or speech that provides amusement or arouses laughter.

Synonyms: amusing, blithe, blithesome, carefree, cheerful, cheery, convivial, enjoyable, entertaining, festive, frolicsome, funny, gay, glad, gleeful, happy, jocund, jolly, joyful, joyous, a lark, lighthearted, lively, perky, playful, sunny, vivacious, absurd, amusing, droll, entertaining, hilarious, ludicrous, playful, ridiculous, silly, whimsical, amusement, indulgence, joy, luxury, pleasure, recreation, relaxation, satisfaction, thrill, to be entertained, be fond of, be pleased, delight in, dote on, drink in, eat up, flip over.

Fun is play, pleasure, gaiety, merriment, source of enjoyment, amusement, playful, often a noisy activity, and teasing. Happiness is contentedness, joy, delight, and satisfaction.

Why is it so hard to pin a single idea on fun? Because there are so many ways to have fun. I had fun this month celebrating the Fourth of July with family. For the last many years, I had not made plans for the Fourth, but felt lonely when I knew there was a village-size party going on just a few miles away. I must have said something to my daughter, because she included me this year, and I am forever grateful. Grandkids are great fun, and usually nonjudgemental. We went to the pool, ate a yummy meal and had a sleepover. Then they came to my house and we joined the village celebration; parade, pool, bandshell and barbecue. My oldest son joined us and he is always fun to have around. He takes great delight in people and outdoor activities. He brought his dog, so we had 3 dogs playing in the yard.

This week I am teaching at Summer Wonders, which is a wonderful program for gifted kids by the Center for Gifted in Northbrook, Illinois. I couldn't have imagined what fun it would be. I am teaching first through third graders how to make and fly kites, paper airplanes, and rockets. The kids are so enthusiastic to have these skills and actually have their object fly. I had to cram all last week to gather materials, learn what would be appropriate for their age (I taught 3-5 year-olds with disabilities most of my career), and develop a plan of action for the class. Worth every hour I put into it. 

Earth Day 2024

I just scanned all of my posts since 2008 and was appalled to see that this is my first Earth Day post, although I did a whole year on Climate Change.  

I used to do a lot of activities on Earth Day. As a preschool teacher, we collected recycling all month and I hauled away a car full with the kids cheering. With older kids, we discussed nature and what we could do to help our planet. Children always want to help improve our planet. They are by nature optimistic. 

The first Earth Day occurred in 1970. I had married my first “wasband” and he was anti-political, so we did nothing. The next few years I was scrambling to put my life back together, and I wasn’t doing a very good job. So didn’t really pay attention to it. Finally, in 1980, I joined a journalist in the area where I lived to create an Earth Day event. It was in a small town, and the national press was playing down Earth Day as if it were passé. I didn’t let it get to me, because I had children by then and it meant a lot to me to ensure that they had a better quality of life.

I returned to my home town in 1989 with the kids, and was very happy to see the coverage of Earth Day in1990. Each decade has become more important as our climate conditions deteriorate, and now I am fighting for my grandkids and my kids. I’m grateful it has become a worldwide movement.

When I worked in technology, I remember a theory about change. First are the pioneers, the people who are on the bleeding edge of change. They are often discredited. Then come the early users, then the masses, and occasionally even the Luddites that don’t want any change. We have made it to the third stage, hoorah! People all over the world are solving our problems, fighting the forces that would condemn our planet to death. We can solve our problems, we just have to get past denial and work together!

The Opposite of Fun

I recently had some surgery that left me with a surprisingly painful recovery. I had no energy to read and TV was more boring than usual. I basically rested for a week. It was definitely NOT fun. I should have called a friend or family member, but I felt I had nothing to say. When we are in pain, physical or mental, it is hard to reach out to others. It was hard to find joy in those circumstances. I didn’t even walk my dog, which made us both  miserable.

My mom was a nurse, who stayed home with me when I was sick. When I would get bored from laying around, she would say, “Just rest.” It was the opposite of fun. 

As a single parent, I had severe migraines. When I could rest, I was still miserable. (The worst was driving fifty minutes  to get home, but that’s another story.)
Curiously, I discovered something about this period in my life. Every time I was laid up, there followed a burst of creativity. I came to accept the NOT fun times and look forward to what followed. I never knew if it would be writing, sewing or new friends, but it was always more fun than resting.

Pre-fun

More fun is planned for the coming month. Concerts, travel, Zooms, and my usual fun with famiy, quilters, singers, poets, and friends. You'd think I'd be happy, and I am, but for me, there is always anxiety. I calm myself by cleaning (presently cleaning closets), playing video games on my phone, and generally making a mess, which will have to be spotless soon. I have perfectionistic tendencies, which makes me clean my house almost spotless before I have people over. I know, that's why I never have parties. I am grateful for a doggie that takes me for long walks. That always lessens my anxieties. How about you? Do you get nervous before an unusual event in your life, like travel or hosting? 

Post-Fun, Revised

I had so much fun in January! I rested up from my trip to Cuba, celebrated the birthdays of two beautiful teenage granddaughters, and joined the Swedish Glee Club (https://swedishgleeclub.org/), which has great singers, beautiful music, and fantastic director. I attended the opera Carmen for the first time and had dinner with friends. Then I also attended the opera Cinderella for the first time and had lunch with friends beforehand.

Then I realized there is a downside to fun, and I’m calling it “post-fun.” After having a fun month in January, life is back to normal and that now seems more boring. I still sing in my church choir and quilt with friends and alone. So I am having plenty of fun in retirement, but the routine aspects of life are not so fun. Cleaning bathrooms and scrubbing floors are not fun. 

Even quilting, reading, and writing can be isolating. Solitude is wonderful, but rarely as fun as almost anything with family or friends. I am grateful for the beautiful memories of January.

It doesn’t take much to meet my needs. In the coming months I have plans to travel, go to concerts, a play, and another opera. They may or may not be fun. But I have goals I wish to achieve before I die. So having too much fun causes a kind of stress. But that’s another story.

The Theme for the Year is Fun

I recently made a trip to Cuba with a family I have grown close to in the U.S. I was treated like a member of the family, and I realized I just don't have enough fun. Now, mind you, fun is relative. Parties can be fun, or not. Relatives can be fun, or not. You get my point? I hope to locate some of the fun in my life that I take for granted and share these with you. You may think they're boring or worse, but I hope to spend more time having fun this year, unless God has other plans. 

First, I must say it is a pleasure for me to dance. As a single living alone, I don't get much chance to do so. The most dancey I have gotten is exercise videos. Still, I danced for hours on New Year's Eve in Cuba and loved every minute of it. My phone thought I had walked for miles.

Grandkids are the most fun family activity I have enjoyed to far. Even teenagers, who can be separating themselves from family know some fun games to play. Have you played Cave Man? It's a riot!

My other fun activities are sewing, reading, waking, writing, and learning about genealogy, so you can see I'm not the wild thing I used to be. What do you do to have fun? Give me some ideas here, people! I'll let you know as I discover the fun I've been missing in life and hope I can laugh through the tough times.