The Necessity of Inspiration

I received a phone call from a friend today, Heather Hutchins. She was feeling pretty good because she is probably going to get a job she likes. We meet weekly to write in a Starbucks for a few hours. Her online book can be found on Wattpad. She has been a writer all her life and it shows. I told her about an experience I had this morning returning something to Amazon. It was the first time I used a "locker" to return an item. I plugged the address into my phone map and headed south to Algonquin Road. It was a half-hour drive across town, ending at a BP gas station. I walked through the doors and got in line to ask for help. As I scanned my surroundings, I saw a wall of large orange lockers on one wall. The directions told me to scan my number, so I scanned the bar code. Nothing happened. I read the directions once again and saw that I could enter a number on the keypad. Six numbers later, a locker popped open. I placed the object in the locker and closed it, then headed out to finish errands. When I told Heather about it, she insisted it would make a good start for a story. I replied, "What if it popped open and something came out of it!" We were off, having a blast brainstorming. It was a great restart to a gray, blustery, winter day in the Midwest. I had been sick for three days and was feeling bored and isolated. Suddenly the universe opened up with a cornucopia of ideas. My mood was altered and I felt happy. I sometimes sink into a blue mood when left to myself. I love being alone, but this intervention kept me from going down the slippery slope of self-doubt and self-criticism. Heather is just one of many friends I have that keep me out of that dangerous neighborhood (my head). Do you have someone in your life that inspires the best in you? Find them and keep them. You won't be sorry.

Spiritual Inspiration

Matthew 13: 31-32 "The Kingdom of Heaven is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field; which indeed is smaller than all seeds. But when it is grown, it is greater than the herbs, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in its branches.” The fall of 1989 was the beginning of a very difficult time in my life. I moved back to be near my parents with three children, a trailer full of furniture, no job, and $200. School was starting the following Monday. My parents helped me move into an apartment three weeks later and I signed up to sub in five school districts. It was the wrong time to be looking for a teaching job. My children’s father paid $200 child support, but altogether I had only $90 left over after paying rent. My children were grieving the loss of their dad and their farm, my twenty-year-old cat had to be put down because of kidney failure, and my morning prayer was, “God, please don’t make me live through this day.” He ignored it and I went about getting the children off to school. I was able to get the family in for counseling on a sliding-scale fee and the counselors gave me a pass to get a Thanksgiving basket at the food pantry. When I picked it up and opened it, there on top was a Christmas hand towel. It touched me deeply that someone cared about me. Fast forward to retirement. All three kids had made it through college and I had paid off all of my loans. Marseilles, IL had a terrible flood and I decided to collect Christmas decorations for those families. I contacted the Methodist Church there, the minister set up the basement for me, and her children skipped as they helped me unload the car. I have been doing it every year since. After several failures to connect, I have chosen to give the decorations to the Angel Tree families. It brings joy to those who donate and to those who receive. And it all started with one Christmas hand towel. I wrote this passage for an advent activity at my church. I have put my spiritual beliefs at the end of the year, because religion is so controversial. If you are a Christian, are you "the right kind" of Christian? Are you someone who just goes to church, or does your whole life reflect your experiences with spirit? If you are an atheist, you can stop reading here. You probably already did. For those of us that have had spiritual experiences that are beyond denial, the spirit is a powerful force for good. Beauty, truth, love, these all reflect what we experience when we are receptive to spiritual guidance. For me, the desire to create flows from within by some unknowable process. What makes music cycle in my head unexpectedly? Where do the words come from that describe what it is like to nurse a baby? Why do I choose certain fabrics for my quilt? I can't say I have a direct line with God, but I try to be open and willing to create, to give to others, and to serve others. The rewards have been a cornucopia of good will

Inspiration and Our Children

The holidays are a mixed bag for many people. Memories of drunken arguments are interspersed among my happy memories of holidays with relatives. I love my family dearly and have made it a rule that all opinions may be expressed in my home, although I know I would not accept a racist comment without responding strongly. We have had a few arguments in the last two decades, but it does not keep us from getting together and having fun.

 I would do anything for my kids (except racism, sexism, etc.) from the moment they were born. My friend called it the mother hen syndrome. I have told my oldest that I was a pacifist until he was born. At that time, I knew I would kill anyone that tried to kill him.

Why do our children inspire us so much? For me, the reason is that my children have surpassed me in so many ways. My oldest is a prize-winning racer. He runs up tall buildings and has done marathons and triathlons. His running took off in junior high, and he was part of a team that took second place at state in high school. He is a programmer and he is much more proficient in that than I am, as well. My second child has made a beautiful home for his family in the country and manages a school district's technology. His spiritual growth began to eclipse mine in his young adult years, and he and his wife have raised three children with beautiful characters. More about them later. My youngest was the artist, and showed talent in singing and art from a very early age. Unable to find full-time employment in those fields, she transformed her life with an advanced degree and began a beautiful family several years ago. She treats patients for speech and voice problems, although she is presently home with her first child.

Ah, grandchildren. The best part of getting old. My oldest grandchild is the spirit of kindness, even to her siblings. She has begun to develop her musical talent and we play/sing with her sister and other family members when we get together. She is fascinated by succulents at the moment. She (and her siblings) knows more than I do about my favorite subjects, such as space and plants. Once she learns something, she doesn't forget it. The second grandchild, lover to all the world, has performed as a dancer and pianist, and she knows everything her sister does. You wouldn't know there are two years between them. They will be a force for good in the world. The third grandchild tries to keep up with his sisters. He came from a different country, culture, and DNA source. His life has been a long adjustment to different food, climate, culture, and behavior. He shines in his loving kindness to others. And grandchild number four is waiting to meet me. She is waking, eating, sleeping and pooping at the present time, but has been born into a loving, healthy home. What will her future look like in the decades to come? I was hit with the difference in generations when I took a Spanish class at the local community college. The teacher asked about different activities we did when we were young. Toys - I rode my bike, TV shows - Smothers Brothers, Video games - didn't exist, Vacations - camping in the Rockies, books - Lassie and Ladd, the Red series. Most of the young people in the class had no clue what I was talking about except, of course, the Rockies.

I am at the age when I blink and it's time to put the garbage out again. I don't even try to think about time passing anymore, since I have no control over it. It also means I've had a remarkable year, with lots of fun and not much suffering. Last night my oldest granddaughter beat me soundly in a simple game of strategy, twice. Thank goodness for the coming generations. They inspire us to live our best lives and make their world better.

Pack Rats Unite!

When’s the last time you went through your closets? I got carpeting a couple of weeks ago and brought all of the boxes that had been in the closet downstairs. My daughter confirmed that I was looking a lot like a hoarder. However, I am determined to get rid of stuff my children will not want when I die. I’m sure you’ve heard of the Swedish custom of dödstädning, “death cleaning.” My non-fiction book club read The Boomer’s Burden last year, and I was shocked when all three of my children refused the souvenirs Dad brought back from WWII. My oldest at least listened to the story of my dad’s front line experiences, the few he shared with us. But that’s another story

The topic this year is inspiration. While going through a box full of my mementos, I ran across a letter from a friend of thirty years, Jim Gieseler. He told me that I inspired him. Single mothers impressed him, given all that they had to do. When I was going through a messy divorce and poverty with my three beloved children, I could not see what I was supposed to learn from the experience. I have faith that God loves me as much as I love my children (or more), but I’m not sure he has control over what suffering we impose on each other — free will and all. Now I read this letter and I know my suffering was building character and showing others how to strive when odds were against them. My friend has five children. His life could not have been easy. But I am grateful that he saw the best in me and told me so. 

Who is inspiring you? Have you told them lately? What’s keeping you from it? Do it now. Time is never promised.

Haben Girma

Haben Girma 

I get a daily news blurb from Katie Couric called the Wake-up Call. She recently wrote a small paragraph about a woman named Haben Girma, who was a child of refugees, black and deafblind. She graduated from Harvard Law School and has a web page here. I went to UIUC (top 10% of my class), got a Master’s in Special Education and went on to get a Certificate of Advanced Study in Technology in Education and it never occurred to me that I was capable of getting a law degree, much less from Harvard. This woman is amazing. I have a digital copy of her new memoir, called Haben: The Deafblind Woman Who Conquered Harvard Law. She has some wonderful suggestions on her web site for making disability stories positive. I wrote last month about my friend Nancy, who was attacked by West Nile Virus in her 60s and has continued to live actively, even if she is in a wheelchair. This would be something Haben would like. I think it's true of those who work with the disabled, too.

Haben wants to see disabled people regarded as other-abled, like many teachers in special ed do. For years, people with learning disabilities were regarded with the term “Minimal Brain Dysfunction.” Now we know that learned disabled people are often very smart and creative.  The same is true for those with autism. Previously regarded as cognitively impaired, we have learned that they can learn to read, use iPads for communication, and are very loving. The scientific community will continue to discover more talents of people with disabilities in the future.

Haben has some hearing in the upper ranges and her voice coach (which is what my daughter is!) helps her prepare speeches for TEDx and other speaking engagements. She helps writers prepare stories that frame the disabled in a positive way.

As a spoiled suburban girl brought up in a lower-middle class home with both parents, I was determined to not “settle” for any job. I wanted enough income to support three children and send them through college. That’s a pretty high bar these days, but I did it by ignoring people who were not interested in my abilities and judged my by my age, gender, and marital status. If my employer didn’t care that I could program a computer or at least choose software for my classroom, I found an employer that not only appreciated my skills, but hired me to teach them to others. My biggest discrimination hurdle came as I aged, but I was able to connect with others in my retirement and am still using those skills. That’s the message I take from Haben Girma. If you want to do something, don’t let culture stand in your way. Keep looking for avenues to express your talent. We are all needed and do our best when we are interdependent.

How Inspiration Affects Us

It’s not that the theme inspiration is difficult to write about. It’s just that I have been seeing the word everywhere. Living your life in a way that others want to emulate is inspiring, and the people who inspire others don’t do it because they want to inspire others. It’s done because they feel they must do it. One of the poets that inspires me is Mary Oliver. Her poem The Journey describes perfectly that drive “You knew what you had to do,” as one who has had to make a difficult choice. “and there was a new voice/ which you slowly/recognized as your own.” It ends “determined to save/the only life that you could/save.“ 

This is a perfect description of positive disintegration described by Kasimir Dabrowski in his work. A person gets negative feedback from all sides when he/she decides to make a life change, yet the more that person follows that choice, the better he/she feels about life. 

I always think of artists in this way. Vincent Van Gogh worked quickly in a style different from anyone else and changed the course of history. He didn’t discover his artistic talent until he was twenty-seven, after he had failed to support himself by evangelism. He did not receive acclaim until after his death.

I see it often in twelve-step programs. A member comes to a meeting in so much pain they are willing to do anything. If they follow the suggestions given by those who have gone before (stories in the literature, stories at open meetings), they find there is a way out of their misery. Others around them may not support this change, though. They are comfortable with the misery and change is scary. Sometimes that person has to leave friends and family behind and spend more time around people who understand what is happening.

One of my friends is very inspiring. Nancy Lundquist had a very happy existence with a husband and family living in Wrigleyville in Chicago. One weekend, she was bitten by one of the sixty-five species of mosquitos which carried the West Nile Virus. Thinking she had the flu, she didn’t go for medical care until the following week. By then, the virus had entered her brain and caused encephalitis. She became paralyzed although she regained some of the coordination in her upper body. Her drive to create drove her to continue working on jewelry and crocheted objects. She lives in a nursing home. Last fall, her husband died, and it’s possible she will lose all of their assets to pay for her care. This summer she got pneumonia and has been under medical care for two months. Is she discouraged? Of course. Does she continue to take care of herself? Yes, she does. I, for one, am grateful that this beautiful person with a powerful intellect and strong creative will continues to grace my life. She is an inspiration to me to persist under extreme adversity.

Place as Inspiration

Travel has been always been inspirational. Whether you are writing Death in Venice or painting the Golden Gate Bridge, place has been an essential part of artistic inspiration. Even those who don’t travel are inspired by the home that they love. 

What is it about place that encompasses us? When we travel, we arrive at a different place, aware of the impact on our senses. The smell of a pine forest, the roar of the subway in the city, the sight of a black ocean beach in Guatemala, these all become such stimulation that we forget what we have left behind and become engrossed in the moment.

I have just returned from a week at the Clearing, in Door County, Wisconsin. I am sure Jens Jensen named it for the natural habitat in parts of his landscape architecture, but it is also a place where a person can clear one’s head. I had been neglecting my writing for the last several months and wasn’t sure I would be able to write any poetry that I would feel good about. I carried these apprehensions with me from Illinois. It wasn’t until I was surrounded by trees, birds, wildflowers and fresh Lake Michigan air that I began to relax and realize that it would be okay if I wrote lousy poetry. Of course, I didn’t. What I did do was choose a theme for a chapbook of poetry and write some poems that would fit into it (and some that wouldn’t).

I’m back home again, where I can have my favorite food and drinks, sleep soundly most of the time, get exercise, quilt with my quilting friends, read with my book clubs, celebrate family events, and be alone when I need to recharge. I carry all the travels I have had with me, just as I carry home with me when I travel. I am grateful for all the experiences I have had in life, even the difficult ones, and look forward to my next trip. I will probably be heading to New York in November to meet a new grandchild. That will be a place and time I will not forget.

My Family Inspires Me

My family is a source of inspiration for me. Many people complain about their families or cut off ties with them, and I have been guilty of that. As I age, however, I realize how lucky I have been to belong to this family. You’ll find some family stories on my other blog, A Boomer Retirement, but today I would like to focus on my parents, Ken Wallin and Adelaide Axelson. They were born in southwest Iowa in Stanton (dad) and Red Oak (mom) shortly after the turn of the century. My father graduated from high school about the time the Great Depression hit. He refused the education that his professor uncles offered, so he had a hard time getting a job. He left Iowa to live with relatives in Gary, IN and work in the steel mills. The temperature would reach one hundred twenty degrees at times, and he told me he was given salt tablets because he sweated so much. Mom was two years younger than dad, but had already finished high school. Her mother died at Christmas in 1931, so she went to nurses’ training in Chicago, at Henrotin Hospital. They met on a train going home for the holidays. They had known each other in high school, but not well. By 1940 they had married, shortly before my dad had to go overseas. Mom worked as a public health nurse in Chicago while Dad fought in WWII. Dad landed in Italy and fought his way up Monte Cassino into France and Germany, where he liberated Jews from boxcars. He returned home and they immediately had a family, being content with suburban living.

My older brother, John, has been extremely successful in life, celebrating fifty years of marriage this year, and retired from a career in computer science for fifteen years. He has always been someone I look up to, because of his intelligence, compassion and fun. His family is fun, caring, and creative. My younger brother holds several degrees. I believe a B.S., an M.B.A. and a Law Degree. He found a family late in life.

My children are an inspiration as well. My life was not headed in a good direction when my first son was born. I have often told him that having those little blue eyes staring at me made me realize I wanted to change and that change has been profound. He moved from a farm at age 12 and maintained grades while being an athlete, then went to college twice - okay, first time not so great - and did email for missionaries before landing a good job. He is happy programming and has been able to work from home. On weekends, he continues his athletics. This weekend he ran a relay from Milwaukee to Madison.

Son number two is the kind of person that can look at a problem and figure out the solution without necessarily being able to explain how he did it. The change from farm to suburb was hardest for him. He has chosen a spiritual life, also going to college twice - hey, nobody’s perfect - and graduating in computer management. He has created a beautiful family with his wife on a farm downstate. 

My daughter was only five when we left the farm, but she not only adjusted to life in the city, she loves the city. She figured out compensatory skills for a learning disability and not only got two Bachelor degrees, English and Vocal Performance, but went back after several years to get a Masters in Speech Therapy with a specialization in Voice Therapy. 

These people remind me that anything is possible if you are fortunate to begin with, if you work through struggles, and if you are open to what the universe has waiting for you.

Martin Luther King

One of the great inspirations of my life was Martin Luther King, Jr. He was one of the first biographies I studied as an adult. I had just returned to church after a sixteen year hiatus and I was very much a pacifist. He taught me that being non-violent can be powerful.

I was surprised to learn that he was only fifteen when he graduated from high school. I don’t think this is ever mentioned when his legacy is discussed. M.L. King was gifted. He was gifted intellectually, but also spiritually. Most educators will not consider spirituality because it is hard to measure, but we all know the spiritual gifts when we see them. Spirituality is such an individual experience people often don’t want to talk about it. Certainly serving others, feeding and caring for the poor, standing up for those who have no power, loving others, and having a rich intrapersonal life are spiritual. King had all of those. 

A young black man from the South, he became a Baptist minister after completing his education. Slavery had ended generations ago, but black people were still held in contempt by much of the society and were expected to be tolerant of mistreatment. Even in the North, blacks were shut out of good housing and good jobs. King believed in non-violent protest as a means to change society for the better. He and his colleagues on the board of NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) began to support the smaller movements in the South, led by the black citizens of the community.

This led to a greater recognition of the need for change. Inspired by Jesus Christ, Gandhi, and Thoreau, King believed that the only way to defeat violence was through peaceful protest. He was a leader in the Montgomery bus boycott and went on to lead the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, speaking throughout the country.

The politicians who advocated white supremacy were very threatened by the thought that black people would have equal rights. They might be voted out of office. They might have to submit to a black policeman, or their children might have a black teacher. The only way they knew to crush the blacks that tried to speak up was through violence. However, King so inspired young people of all colors,  they chose to travel to the South from all over the country, and risk their lives in order to support him. Busloads of protesters of all colors arrived until the jails were overflowing. Some even gave their lives to fight for the rights of Negroes in the South. A church bombing led to the deaths of three little girls. This brought attention to the movement and fueled a march on Washington. Schools and restaurants were integrated. The Civil Rights Act passed in 1964, followed by fair housing laws. These continue to protect people from unfair treatment, when the laws are enforced. King received the Nobel Prize on October 14, 1964.

King was not perfect. He struggled with depression and had a weakness for women. His ideals, however, are guiding lights for us to follow. King was murdered, but his words live on in his writings. My favorite quote is “With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.”

The Theme For 2019: Inspiration

Inspiration

Inspiration is the spark that shows us another way, a better way. According to dictionary.com, it is:

1. an inspiring or animating action or influence:
   I cannot write poetry without inspiration.
2. something inspired, as an idea.
3. a result of inspired activity. 
4. a thing or person that inspires.
5. Theology .
1. a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.
2. the divine quality of the writings or words of a person so influenced.

1. the drawing of air into the lungs; inhalation.
2. the act of inspiring; quality or state of being inspired.(1)

Its origins are :  

"1300-50;  Middle English inspiren < Latin inspīrāre to breathe upon or into, 

equivalent to in- in-2 + spīrāre to breathe" (1)

Just as its origins suggest, we need inspiration to live. Classical musicians and composers capture emotions and imagination with increasing complexity. Slaves picking cotton in inhumane conditions used spirituals to survive the work. Spiritual leaders in all world religions encourage us all to forgive, love, and take care of each other. Political leaders, including a new generation of student activists, solve social problems to overcome war, disease and famine. Medical personnel dedicate their lives to the healing of our bodies, even as new diseases and new strains evolve. Artists create paintings and sculptures to portray the world as they see it, in all its beauty and cruelty. Scientists continue to dissolve barriers in space, physics, biology, ecology and chemistry. Educators improve learning by studying psychology, computers, and observation. In every human endeavor, there are those who are so unique, so dedicated, and so committed to their field, that we continue to make steady progress, not always forward, but ultimately forward. 

During one year in my life, I raised three children in poverty. To keep myself going, I decided to read youth biographies of famous people. I didn’t have time to read the adult version. I was amazed at how hard some of their lives had been. I hope to spend some time this year reminding myself of their stories and creating a few of my own. I hope you will find inspiration in these posts.

Usually, we think of inspiration as a lofty quote or a famous person, and there are those who inspire us by the way they lived. But it is possible to inspire others with simple actions. I wrote about the effect our actions can have on others in my poem "The Soul Quilt" which will be published in the Blue Heron Review in winter of 2019. We never know when we will do something that will help others.

(1) https://www.dictionary.com/browse/inspiration, accessed 1/9/19