Rona

It has been three months since I have blogged and I can't tell you why. It seemed as if everything was the same, day after day, week after week. Yet our knowledge of this virus changed often and it was still the only thing my friends talked about. I wore masks when I had to buy groceries, used sanitizer when I touched things, and stayed home much more than I liked. So how did I get the coronavirus? I don't know. All I know is that I went in for a test to make sure I wasn't positive before I suggested a visit with my daughter. I went on about my business. 

It has begun to get cold here, and restaurants have separated tables by at least six feet. I went out to eat in two indoor restaurants after I had the test because I had what I thought was a migraine and my usual colitis, only to find I had tested positive. 

My test was on Friday, October 9, which is my older brother's birthday. I got the results on Tuesday morning when I called to find out my results. My first reaction was denial. I think it was a good thing that I found out I had the virus after the worst of the symptoms. I called my brother and kids, then proceeded to call everyone that might have gotten it from me. After all, we don't know how long I had it before I tested positive. So far, two neighbors have tested negative, whew! Others could not get tested because the lines are suddenly two hours/days long. 

I am staying home and my friends are overwhelming me with kindness. I keep busy so I don't think about the other effects of COVID 19 that may yet occur. This is the second week, so I am hoping I don't tank, the way some people do. Luckily, last spring I had purchased an oximeter because there were no tests available. So I am keeping track of my temp and my oxygen and hoping all the prayers of friends will carry me through this safely. 

Last spring, I had some symptoms similar to COVID, and imagined what it would mean if I didn't make it. I decided it was time to divest myself of a lot of material assets. I chose to give away books and quilting supplies.  There is still too much "stuff" but now I worry about giving away virus with items. 

So the topic I had chosen for the year was to be "Climate" and this little tiny virus has completely taken over our waking hours. Our country's leaders have allowed over eight million people to get the virus and 217,918 people to die (as of October 17, 2020) through the inept handling of the Republicans. Our economy is in dire straits and Republicans have only given money to large corporations, which has kept some people employed until now. 

Add to that 8 hurricanes, 25 storms, with people being removed to shelters. Don't forget to add those moved to shelters in California because of the record 4.1 million acres being burned up by forest fires.

Some of the symptoms I have had are headache which caused me to lay on the sofa all day, diarrhea, chills, food tasting bad, smell coming and going, fatigue, and brain fog. I've been lucky enough to feel okay, and I hope it continues. 

My favorite method for coping has been to keep busy and not think about what's going on in the world. So much tragedy. There have been many great jokes on social media, but there have been some digital improvements. Lots of classes have been moved online, and we can "see" our friends on Zoom, FaceTime and Facebook. 

As the holidays approach and I don't know what to plan. Planning is overrated.

Progress

It has been 5 months since we became aware of  COVID - 19's ability to spread ubiquitously. A friend and I were comparing our motivation at the beginning and now. At first, we tackled cleaning closets, cleaning our houses, finishing quilting projects that had been hanging around for a while, and generally doing those things we never thought we had time to do. 

I was tense, worried about everything I touched when I went for groceries, including door handles and cardboard boxes. As Kristopher Jansma put it, "What a month ago might have been a careless exercise in routine home maintenance now means confronting my own mortality." (1).

We wore masks from the beginning, because we were in the high-risk group. All of my appointments were canceled as of March 15, because the entire state shut down. I was appalled to learn that our president was withholding supplies from Democratic areas. States were compelled to buy supplies on the international market, competing with the federal government. My daughter had returned to New York with her husband and child in April and it was better, but still a hot spot. My oldest was ensconced in his home, taking care and working from home. My middle child and his family were in a rural area and angry about the stay-at-home, mask orders. They have been home-schooling for years, so that was not adversely affected by the lock-down. 

Fast forward a few months. Most people in our state have adjusted to wearing masks, using sanitizer and washing their hands often. My friend and I have both adjusted our need to clean (nobody's coming to visit) and are enjoying having time alone. Because of our hobbies, we have not been bored. I am grateful for time to clean out clutter, sew whatever and whenever I want, and even order pizza once in a while.

I find myself often in a funk. Foggy. What day is it? Although days seem to be going slower, weeks fly by. Next weekend it will be August. I would be planning a fall trip somewhere. Will I get to go to Macchu Picchu next year? Will I care? No one knows when we will be able to travel again. I like to think, I was going to travel this decade, but God said "No."

It may be that we have to restructure our entire civilization before we can get through the suffering. Certainly, the economy is hurting those who can survive it least. The first big bailout went to giant corporations, including airlines and cruise lines. Unless they can find a way to sanitize their air currents and plumbing, they will go under, the millions given to them wasted. Now the unemployed, who lost their healthcare, are losing their homes.  Will they be able to vote in November? 

So many questions remain unanswered as the first trials of a vaccine begin. Once again, large companies have gotten millions to produce this, before it's even done. How many more will die?

(1)Jansma, Kristopher, "Out of the Ordinary,"

https://www.thesunmagazine.org/issues/535/out-of-the-ordinary, July 2020.

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In the Throes

One of my problems this month has been the week of news covering racial discrimination all over the world. I was ready to move on to solutions. I thought I had heard it all and protested it back in the 60s, yet somehow we were again facing that brick wall that is racism. Discrimination against blacks and other minorities seems to be ensconced at all levels of government. Whether it's the President of the United States being rude to a female black reporter or a neighbor who shocks you with "Us whites have to stick together," it feels like there is no solution.

Add to that months spent inside sequestering by an invisible virus that only kills 1.3 % of the people it infects. (1) Unless you are a member of a minority. Then it is 3.12% for blacks and  slightly less for other minorities.

Add to that the forty million people who have lost their jobs. You have to check out the graph on this page (2) to see the shocking results of the virus on employment.

Add, finally, a week of record high temperatures here in the Chicago area, that often accompanies civil unrest. Undoubtedly, that is a result of global warming. (3)

It's like we are having four crises at once.

So, where do I find hope in all of this? As usual, it's the next generation. They are using social media to communicate worldwide. They have chosen peaceful methods. They are standing up for human rights. 

Yes, my generation got Civil Rights laws on the books in the 60s. This generation says, "Enforce them!" I am so proud of my former students who are making the world better.


(1)

COVID-19: Study reports 'staggering' death rate in U.S. among those infected who show symptoms, Science Daily. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/05/200518144915.htm, accessed 6/4/20.

(2)

U. S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Labor Force Statistics from the Current Population Survey

 https://data.bls.gov/timeseries/LNS14000000, accessed 6/4/2020.

(3)

Union of Concerned Scientists, Global Warming FAQ, https://www.ucsusa.org/resources/global-warming-faq, accessed 6/4/20.

Pestilence

In honor of National Poetry Month.

Pestilence

First, the news of deaths in China.

Bat meat, they say.

Gatherings here disappear, but not before I wonder

if I will lose any friends.

Pestilence spreads with travelers everywhere.

Countries close borders, though viruses do not respect borders.

Invisible specter, lurking just where we least expect it.

I forget that I am sequestered,

tell a friend to come over, remember we can’t do that.

Fever and congestion cause worry.

I spend my days inside

worrying that today will be my last.

Walk outside every day.

All of this waiting.

The news gets worse.

No symptoms in its stealth phase, then

a mushroom cloud of sick needing hospitals

and morgues.

Scarcities rule the market, our government hoards resources,

doctors and nurses begin to fall.

I notice how many things I touch when I go out.

The news gets worse.

Businesses shutter, workers have no income,

A quiet settles over cities. 

Essential businesses still open 

begin to lose workers.

The news is all-COVID all the time.

Home-made masks are better than nothing.

The news gets worse.

We begin to mourn those whom we have lost.

Musicians, athletes, ordinary people who work in public.

I stare down the existential questions.

Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life?

Answers come in the solitude.

Granddaughters run fevers, send me to my knees.

The news is mixed.

Tweny million people have lost their jobs.

With their jobs, their health care.

The nation has rallied.

We share food, meet in cyberspace.

Drive by shootings are replaced by 

drive by birthday parties.

The news gets better.

A drop-off in new cases in New York City,

people healing from the disease.

A light at the end of the tunnel.

Hope that people will go back to work 

begins to spread.

China lifts its travel ban.

The news gets better.

Other countries are going back to work.

Spring flowers promise a future

with beauty and heavenly scents.

Vaccines begin to appear in labs.

Store shelves fill again.

Government checks arrive in homes.

The news gets better.

Governors coordinate plans

in the absence of federal guidance.

Happy homemade videos counterbalance

network news negativity.

The world breathes a sigh of relief.

It will end.