Friends

 Did you ever notice that when you are with people you love, you usually laugh a lot. I am in two quilter's groups and when we get together, we have a good time. Some of us are quietly working on projects by hand or machine, but we all have good stories to tell. One will start and then another joins in with another funny story and suddenly we have spent a half hour laughing. 

I think it's the same with family. Just being in the same room as my kids, their spouses and grandkids causes instant elation. And they all have dogs. I miss my dog Messy, who died last month, but I am still grieving for a while. It's great to get jumped on and licked (ooh, ick) and adored by them. Of course, I always have a little treat for them.

It's still November and heaven knows what December will bring, let alone a new/old presidency. I am reading uplifting books and pages, talking to friends, and sewing, writing, walking, cooking. I always balance my life with the gratitude that at least I am not in a nursing home YET. Still, I bet I can find the troublemakers in a nursing home and have some fun when I do go.

The Holidays

 The holidays are so much fun for small children. Starting with Halloween, kids are so excited at the approach of the holiday. I had the pleasure of a delightful afternoon with two of my grandchildren in Whitefish Bay, Wisconsin this year. The weather was warm enough for the two princesses to go bare-armed and the town really got into the spirit of the day. My daughter and her husband wore costumes and I wore a ruana I had gotten in Bogota, Colombia in 1972. For each block we walked, the girls got to eat one piece of candy. They were pretty wiped out by the time we got home. In case you haven't read my favorite Halloween story, go to this post.

This year I was having a hissy fit because I didn't think I would have family home for the holidays. I managed to invite them, rather than just assume, and they invited me. I'm ancillary to their families now, and I think that's supposed to be a good outcome to having children, but how I miss having them all together at once. 

This weekend my daughter and family stayed overnight. Within five minutes of my granddaughters' arrival, they had changed me into a princess. Now that they are both preschoolers, I can almost keep up with them. I will cherish these moments of joy, just as I cherish the moments with my children and my downstate grandchildren. I have been writing again, and that's one of the good things about not having to clean, cook and decorate. Let's hope I get my first book of poetry done this year!

Losses are not fun

 One of the ways I have fun is to quilt. I also love to read, write, and search for genealogy nuggets. All of which are solitary activities. Being human, however, I need to be around people some of the time. 

I recently read a book called The Introvert Advantage. I realized I am an introvert, which explains why I find it stressful to be around large groups of people. In graduate school, I would gravitate to the kitchen during parties, while my first ex-husband was putting a lampshade on his head. Now that I realize I need alone time, I quit beating myself up for not being more social. 

I have been single now for thirty years, living alone since the youngest moved out in 2007. I have learned to accept that there will be tough days, but I am happy for the most part. My favorite people live mostly nearby and I can see most of them any time. 

There have been losses this year, which are not fun. One of my dearest friends died last summer and I still miss her most days. The Center for Gifted has closed permanently, done in by COVID. It was one of a kind, run by brilliant people who loved gifted kids and each other. The kids loved the classes. I often wondered if I should tell them I would teach there for free. It's gone, and I helped empty the storage unit. It leaves a big hole.

I don't look forward to old age. I remember when my mom lost her last best friend. She was glad she could go quickly (a stroke), not bitter about her loneliness. 

I try to enjoy each day, because I am so lucky to still be alive. There are many times in my life I could have died but didn't, thanks to modern medicine and psychology. 

Last weekend I had great fun walking two miles with my son and his dog. You can't buy that. 

I cleaned up more of my quilting mess this morning and look forward to cleaning my house. That's not fun, but it cheers me up. 

Last week I heard a report on BBC that music releases endorphins. That must be why I love to sing so much and I do sing three times or more during the week. I also love hearing the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, which I heard last Friday. Yes, I have fun every week, even when I am processing losses.

Dictionary and Thesaurus Work

Fun:

Definition: action or speech that provides amusement or arouses laughter.

Synonyms: amusing, blithe, blithesome, carefree, cheerful, cheery, convivial, enjoyable, entertaining, festive, frolicsome, funny, gay, glad, gleeful, happy, jocund, jolly, joyful, joyous, a lark, lighthearted, lively, perky, playful, sunny, vivacious, absurd, amusing, droll, entertaining, hilarious, ludicrous, playful, ridiculous, silly, whimsical, amusement, indulgence, joy, luxury, pleasure, recreation, relaxation, satisfaction, thrill, to be entertained, be fond of, be pleased, delight in, dote on, drink in, eat up, flip over.

Fun is play, pleasure, gaiety, merriment, source of enjoyment, amusement, playful, often a noisy activity, and teasing. Happiness is contentedness, joy, delight, and satisfaction.

Why is it so hard to pin a single idea on fun? Because there are so many ways to have fun. I had fun this month celebrating the Fourth of July with family. For the last many years, I had not made plans for the Fourth, but felt lonely when I knew there was a village-size party going on just a few miles away. I must have said something to my daughter, because she included me this year, and I am forever grateful. Grandkids are great fun, and usually nonjudgemental. We went to the pool, ate a yummy meal and had a sleepover. Then they came to my house and we joined the village celebration; parade, pool, bandshell and barbecue. My oldest son joined us and he is always fun to have around. He takes great delight in people and outdoor activities. He brought his dog, so we had 3 dogs playing in the yard.

This week I am teaching at Summer Wonders, which is a wonderful program for gifted kids by the Center for Gifted in Northbrook, Illinois. I couldn't have imagined what fun it would be. I am teaching first through third graders how to make and fly kites, paper airplanes, and rockets. The kids are so enthusiastic to have these skills and actually have their object fly. I had to cram all last week to gather materials, learn what would be appropriate for their age (I taught 3-5 year-olds with disabilities most of my career), and develop a plan of action for the class. Worth every hour I put into it.